Fortunately, I found several weeks worth of Mr. Neff's expired produce in the employee lounge (which, fear not, I'll be adding to my list of transgressions) and hurled the fetid vegetables at the filthy mongrels as they were sleeping. I think I was able to trick their primitive minds into believing I was some sort of spirit god, because they gibbered into the night about some sort of "raging asholman," which I can only assume to be some simple hobo deity. In any case, I think it will be some time before our doorways are again darkened by the deservedly destitute.
You're welcome.
Vic,
ReplyDeleteI understand your frustrations with the homeless and unemployed individuals that sometimes sleep near our office building. Note I said near, they don't sleep in our doorway, they're fifty feet away by the sewer grate and the hedges. I know that in your personal philosophy which you obviously hold very dear and is completely valid and true for you (Panini & Rye does not discriminate on the basis of philosophy, religion, or culture!), employment is a moral question. However, you cannot just go throwing rotten vegetables at people. Firstly you should have just contacted the police if you were concerned about the vagrants. Secondly that rotten produce was the property of Mr Roger B. Neff, who is a partner of this firm and as such deserves our complete respect. Those vegetables were his property and I'm certain he was saving them for some purpose. Anyway, I hope you have a fulfilling time at work today! Just remember to avoid the filing cabinets as Rob is extremely particular about his system. I'll be in conference with Mr Rye later but I will be available to assist you. Don't work too hard! Just kidding. :)