Welcome to a shorten fRyeday Recap. Shortened because of:
(1) Roger and Shenrab's remaking of the office is paying dividends. I can't remember when the place has been silent, with people busy at their tasks. We won't know how this affects "the bottom line" for a while, but I have no doubt Roger's taking us into strange new areas.
(2) A couple clients have decided to try their luck elsewhere, including Smitty's Seafood Importers and Pillows & Rugs. While we'll miss assisting them with their various legal needs, Roger assures me that they're easily replaceable.
(3) Check with Roger and Shenrab first, but if they say yes, go home early everybody!
Showing posts with label fryeday. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fryeday. Show all posts
Friday, January 30, 2009
Friday, January 23, 2009
fRyeday Recap for January 23rd
An odd week here, with more goings than comings. Those who are here, I'm sure, will pull together for the team.
(1) Best wishes to Vic. Our ace staff attorney will, effective immediately, be going on an extended working vacation. Working as hard as he does, he needs a bit of time off, but, working as hard as does, he'll still be applying his legal skills wherever he is. And hopefully drum up some new clients, right Vic? You'll make partner yet!
In the interim, Roger Neff will be taking over Vic's caseload, with the ever able assistance of our ace paralegal Angie. Heck, I'll bet Angie can show Roger a trick or two.
(2) I canceled my speech before the Golem County Police Association due to personal matters. I'm hoping that they can squeeze me in in the future as we'd all benefit from some face to face.
(3) Peace is at hand. That phrase has never seemed truer now that Hillary Clinton is Secretary of State. I know that I gush a lot about her and it was personally quite difficult for me to accept that the nomination was denied to her, but it feels like the clock is chiming twelve with her arrival at the State Department.
(4) We seem to be in the presence of an efficiency expert. I don't know who's responsible, but I approve. As Secretary Clinton would say, "Time to get efficient!"
(5) I'm off to a meeting with Helmut Schultz of Mortenson's Apple Orchards. This could be a good one, folks.
(1) Best wishes to Vic. Our ace staff attorney will, effective immediately, be going on an extended working vacation. Working as hard as he does, he needs a bit of time off, but, working as hard as does, he'll still be applying his legal skills wherever he is. And hopefully drum up some new clients, right Vic? You'll make partner yet!
In the interim, Roger Neff will be taking over Vic's caseload, with the ever able assistance of our ace paralegal Angie. Heck, I'll bet Angie can show Roger a trick or two.
(2) I canceled my speech before the Golem County Police Association due to personal matters. I'm hoping that they can squeeze me in in the future as we'd all benefit from some face to face.
(3) Peace is at hand. That phrase has never seemed truer now that Hillary Clinton is Secretary of State. I know that I gush a lot about her and it was personally quite difficult for me to accept that the nomination was denied to her, but it feels like the clock is chiming twelve with her arrival at the State Department.
(4) We seem to be in the presence of an efficiency expert. I don't know who's responsible, but I approve. As Secretary Clinton would say, "Time to get efficient!"
(5) I'm off to a meeting with Helmut Schultz of Mortenson's Apple Orchards. This could be a good one, folks.
Friday, January 16, 2009
fRyeday Recap for January16th
TGIF—Thank God It's fRyeday! Some weekly wrap-up to take you into the weekend and prepare for next week.
(1) The Purgatory Business Bowling League starts up again next Thursday, and with Chris' absence, we have a spot open on the team. If you have experience "chucking the ball," see Gretchen about an audition.
(2) A reminder to please shake off the snow from your boots and coats before coming into the office. The carpeting is only ten years old and still has a lot of good years ahead of it if we act like adults.
(3) I walked into the file room today and I must say, whoever has taken over these duties is a genius. Spotless and orderly. I'll bet I could find the very first malpractice claim brought against Roger within thirty seconds. (Just kidding, Roger.) Gretchen, find out who the new person is and give him that Zoom music player I got at that convention last year.
(4) Received a letter from Chris Panini this week. He hopes you're all well and wants you to know that he's not backing down and doesn't expect any of you to, either. He also asked that Vic "stare at the bear until it blinks" (he says that Vic will know what that means).
(5) Some investors from New York City are coming to Purgatory next week to investigate the idea for a "Mad Anthony" Wayne Theme Park. I think it would be a good idea for Angie to attend some meetings and use her "natural style" to get Panini & Rye in on the ground level. It could be a big big boost for the Purgatory economy.
(6) Finally, I'll be addressing the Golem County Police Association's monthly meeting next week. I hope to bring back some good "tidbits" about the state of justice in our "neck of the woods."
(1) The Purgatory Business Bowling League starts up again next Thursday, and with Chris' absence, we have a spot open on the team. If you have experience "chucking the ball," see Gretchen about an audition.
(2) A reminder to please shake off the snow from your boots and coats before coming into the office. The carpeting is only ten years old and still has a lot of good years ahead of it if we act like adults.
(3) I walked into the file room today and I must say, whoever has taken over these duties is a genius. Spotless and orderly. I'll bet I could find the very first malpractice claim brought against Roger within thirty seconds. (Just kidding, Roger.) Gretchen, find out who the new person is and give him that Zoom music player I got at that convention last year.
(4) Received a letter from Chris Panini this week. He hopes you're all well and wants you to know that he's not backing down and doesn't expect any of you to, either. He also asked that Vic "stare at the bear until it blinks" (he says that Vic will know what that means).
(5) Some investors from New York City are coming to Purgatory next week to investigate the idea for a "Mad Anthony" Wayne Theme Park. I think it would be a good idea for Angie to attend some meetings and use her "natural style" to get Panini & Rye in on the ground level. It could be a big big boost for the Purgatory economy.
(6) Finally, I'll be addressing the Golem County Police Association's monthly meeting next week. I hope to bring back some good "tidbits" about the state of justice in our "neck of the woods."
Friday, January 9, 2009
fRyeday Recap for January 9th
A lot to cover in this fRyeday summary, so let's get to it!
(1) Two new clients to announce:
- Naughty Nightwear and Fantasies has switched their legal representation from Goldstein and Silverstein to Panini & Rye (sorry, Wendell and Marty, you had your shot). I haven't done as much real "lawyerin'" as I'd like, so I'll be handling this account exclusively, and look forward to defending Miss Tawnee's interests.
- The Brothers and Sisters of the Earth Sharing Foundation has retained Panini & Rye in its fight against Golem county polluters. Roger and I agree that Vic would provide exemplary skill and zeal in this fight.
(2) Roger, I love your sense of humor, but I'm a bit worried that some people might take seriously your descriptions of your Montreal ordeal. This firm has suffered plenty from people misunderstanding the truth, so let's take care what we people hear.
(3) I love the idea of sharing stories about Roger. The first time I met Roger was when I was in law school and his dad, Ross Neff, was one of my professors. Great times, learning at the feet of the master. One summer day, I was preparing to clean the Neff swimming pool when Roger, who couldn't have been more than ten or so and was swimming, decided that he wasn't coming out. I ordered and begged and bargained with him but to no avail. Finally, "the old man's" voice boomed out, "Get your butt out of the pool, you little twit!" Roger stared at the house then at me, then he got a weird look on his face. I could tell he was urinating in the pool. Oh, I was angry, but in retrospect it shows he had that lawyer's spirit—even when you lose a fight, make sure you take some kind of victory with you. He's peed in many a pool since, and I mean that in the best way possible.
(4) Out of consideration for Angie, could we please refrain from discussing the conflict in Gaza around the break room table? Thanks.
(1) Two new clients to announce:
- Naughty Nightwear and Fantasies has switched their legal representation from Goldstein and Silverstein to Panini & Rye (sorry, Wendell and Marty, you had your shot). I haven't done as much real "lawyerin'" as I'd like, so I'll be handling this account exclusively, and look forward to defending Miss Tawnee's interests.
- The Brothers and Sisters of the Earth Sharing Foundation has retained Panini & Rye in its fight against Golem county polluters. Roger and I agree that Vic would provide exemplary skill and zeal in this fight.
(2) Roger, I love your sense of humor, but I'm a bit worried that some people might take seriously your descriptions of your Montreal ordeal. This firm has suffered plenty from people misunderstanding the truth, so let's take care what we people hear.
(3) I love the idea of sharing stories about Roger. The first time I met Roger was when I was in law school and his dad, Ross Neff, was one of my professors. Great times, learning at the feet of the master. One summer day, I was preparing to clean the Neff swimming pool when Roger, who couldn't have been more than ten or so and was swimming, decided that he wasn't coming out. I ordered and begged and bargained with him but to no avail. Finally, "the old man's" voice boomed out, "Get your butt out of the pool, you little twit!" Roger stared at the house then at me, then he got a weird look on his face. I could tell he was urinating in the pool. Oh, I was angry, but in retrospect it shows he had that lawyer's spirit—even when you lose a fight, make sure you take some kind of victory with you. He's peed in many a pool since, and I mean that in the best way possible.
(4) Out of consideration for Angie, could we please refrain from discussing the conflict in Gaza around the break room table? Thanks.
Friday, December 19, 2008
fRyeday Recap for December 19th
For the last twenty years or so, I’ve been circulating weekly summaries around the office every Friday. I call them fRyeday Recaps, and I’ve found that everybody loves them. It’s good for morale to know how the business is doing, and good morale is better than money, I’ve found.
Now that we’re in the “electronic age,” the fRyeday Recaps will also be put on the “blog” so that the people of Purgatory and Golem County can have their spirits boosted. Enjoy!
(1) A big round of congratulations to our ace attorney, Vic Graine, who successfully settled the lawsuit between Blackbird School Buses and The O’Connor School for the Hearing Impaired. I’m confident that everyone involved is happy with the resolution to this troubling incident. Keep up the good work, Vic—you’ll make partner before you know it!
(2) I understand that Robert Livermore, our ace filing clerk, is out sick today, so we need to come up with a better system for shoveling the walk outside. I recommend the kids at the O’Connor School for the Hearing Impaired. Those little “sparkplugs” can never replace Robert’s skill with a shovel, but I know they’ll give it their best. Plus it’ll prove to all the naysayers that the hearing impaired are just as good as everyone else.
(3) The holiday season is upon us, as you know, and I’d like to remind you all of the annual Panini & Rye Old T-Shirt Secret Santa drive for the needy. Bring in your old t-shirts and we’ll donate them to the indigents of Purgatory. I hate to give up my 1982 Jackson Brown tour shirt, but it’s for a good cause. Show us what you’ve worn, Panini & Rye!
(4) Also on the topic of holiday season, I’d like to remind everyone to remember to greet clients with “Happy holidays.” Also acceptable, if you know that it is “safe” to do so, Happy Hanukah, Happy Ramadan, Happy Kwanzaa, Happy Winter Solstice. I know you know that I don’t have too many rules about this kind of thing, but the word Christmas should be avoided.
(5) And a big “shout out,” as my lovely daughter Janis says, to Angie, our ace paralegal who keeps us all smiling every day. Your people are a constant inspiration.
(6) Finally, I was recently asked to speak before Mrs. O’Leary’s class of fifth graders—no higher honour, I assure you—and talk about being a lawyer in Purgatory’s greatest law firm. Let me tell you, a few of those kids would give our crack team of litigators a “run for their money.” I think we’d all benefit from the wisdom of tomorrow, so here is a transcript of the “Q & A” session.
Toby, 11: What’s your favorite amendment to the Constitution?
Perry Rye, Esq: The seventeenth.
Cassandra, 11: Is being a lawyer hard?
Perry Rye, Esq: It’s very hard work. But it’s also very important to help other people. And being a lawyer is all about helping people. If you’re really good at being a lawyer, though, someday you can buy a Jag. C’mon, kids, come to the window and see my Jag!
Anita, 10: Is the portrayal of lawyers in shows like Law & Order in any way accurate?
Perry Rye, Esq: I don’t really watch those shows because they glorify violence and portray women and minorities in a negative light.
Roy, 11: Have you ever, like, gotten a murderer off, and then he killed a whole bunch of other people, and you, like, knew it was totally your fault, and then the victims’ families tried to sue you and you had to destroy them in court, even though they’d already suffered and you knew they were actually right?
Perry Rye, Esq: No comment.
Lance, 10: Why won’t you answer Roy’s question?
Mrs. O’Leary: Roy, Lance, questioning others is a privilege, not a right.
Lindsey, 11: If you could be an animal, what kind of animal would you want to be?
Perry Rye, Esq: What a great question! Wow! I think I’d like to be a unicorn, because they were magical and always helped other animals.
Eddie, 16: What’s your opinion of the sodomy laws in Texas?
Mrs. O’Leary: I think that’s enough for today.
Now that we’re in the “electronic age,” the fRyeday Recaps will also be put on the “blog” so that the people of Purgatory and Golem County can have their spirits boosted. Enjoy!
(1) A big round of congratulations to our ace attorney, Vic Graine, who successfully settled the lawsuit between Blackbird School Buses and The O’Connor School for the Hearing Impaired. I’m confident that everyone involved is happy with the resolution to this troubling incident. Keep up the good work, Vic—you’ll make partner before you know it!
(2) I understand that Robert Livermore, our ace filing clerk, is out sick today, so we need to come up with a better system for shoveling the walk outside. I recommend the kids at the O’Connor School for the Hearing Impaired. Those little “sparkplugs” can never replace Robert’s skill with a shovel, but I know they’ll give it their best. Plus it’ll prove to all the naysayers that the hearing impaired are just as good as everyone else.
(3) The holiday season is upon us, as you know, and I’d like to remind you all of the annual Panini & Rye Old T-Shirt Secret Santa drive for the needy. Bring in your old t-shirts and we’ll donate them to the indigents of Purgatory. I hate to give up my 1982 Jackson Brown tour shirt, but it’s for a good cause. Show us what you’ve worn, Panini & Rye!
(4) Also on the topic of holiday season, I’d like to remind everyone to remember to greet clients with “Happy holidays.” Also acceptable, if you know that it is “safe” to do so, Happy Hanukah, Happy Ramadan, Happy Kwanzaa, Happy Winter Solstice. I know you know that I don’t have too many rules about this kind of thing, but the word Christmas should be avoided.
(5) And a big “shout out,” as my lovely daughter Janis says, to Angie, our ace paralegal who keeps us all smiling every day. Your people are a constant inspiration.
(6) Finally, I was recently asked to speak before Mrs. O’Leary’s class of fifth graders—no higher honour, I assure you—and talk about being a lawyer in Purgatory’s greatest law firm. Let me tell you, a few of those kids would give our crack team of litigators a “run for their money.” I think we’d all benefit from the wisdom of tomorrow, so here is a transcript of the “Q & A” session.
Toby, 11: What’s your favorite amendment to the Constitution?
Perry Rye, Esq: The seventeenth.
Cassandra, 11: Is being a lawyer hard?
Perry Rye, Esq: It’s very hard work. But it’s also very important to help other people. And being a lawyer is all about helping people. If you’re really good at being a lawyer, though, someday you can buy a Jag. C’mon, kids, come to the window and see my Jag!
Anita, 10: Is the portrayal of lawyers in shows like Law & Order in any way accurate?
Perry Rye, Esq: I don’t really watch those shows because they glorify violence and portray women and minorities in a negative light.
Roy, 11: Have you ever, like, gotten a murderer off, and then he killed a whole bunch of other people, and you, like, knew it was totally your fault, and then the victims’ families tried to sue you and you had to destroy them in court, even though they’d already suffered and you knew they were actually right?
Perry Rye, Esq: No comment.
Lance, 10: Why won’t you answer Roy’s question?
Mrs. O’Leary: Roy, Lance, questioning others is a privilege, not a right.
Lindsey, 11: If you could be an animal, what kind of animal would you want to be?
Perry Rye, Esq: What a great question! Wow! I think I’d like to be a unicorn, because they were magical and always helped other animals.
Eddie, 16: What’s your opinion of the sodomy laws in Texas?
Mrs. O’Leary: I think that’s enough for today.
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