P & R business, December 22nd

Good morning, gang!

Two bits of sad news to start the week.

(1) The Fort Wayne Children's Zoo, one of our most valued clients, suffered a reprehensible act of violence this weekend when Kojak, their bald eagle, was shot in the wing. I want P & R on top of this matter. Vic, as the firm's ace sportsman and conservationist, I would appreciate you volunteering to head this one up. I should also remind you that you're quite deficient in your pro bono hours and the year is drawing to a close, so you'll be solving this case on "your own dime." As someone who cares about the great outdoors, however, I'm sure this will be a "labor of love."

(2) We have recently been suffering a rash of pastry thefts from the break room. Person or persons unknown have been taking more than their fair share of donuts and fritters. If this unteamworklike behavior continues, I will be forced to cancel our daily order from Kim's Kimchi and Donut Hut. This, I shouldn't have to remind you, will adversely affect an inspirational Korean-American business. That extra donut doesn't just add to the waistline, people, it hurts America's image.

C'mon, Panini & Rye, let's show 'em what we're made of!