Monday, January 5, 2009

Roger is safe

Friends,

The New Year is upon us and is already eventful. I just returned from Montreal after receiving a phone call from the concierge at Le Hotel Champlain, demanding that I retrieve Roger Neff. Roger, it seems, was a victim of some kind of spiking, and he accidentally ingested a substance that induced extreme paranoia. He had blockaded himself in his room because was convinced that agents of the US government were trying to implant a monitoring device in his brain.

I arrived in Montreal on New Years Eve and spent the better part of the next two days negotiating with Roger to be let into his room. (Let me tell you, there is no tougher negotiator in the world than Roger Neff, even under the spell of a hallucinogen. Potential clients should feel safe trusting their deals to Roger.) The next two days are a blur even to myself. Stairwells and taxi cabs were involved, and there was a lot of screaming. Flashing lights and oppressive Canadian security agents. What a terrifying country.

But we are back in Purgatory and it feels good. Roger's recuperating and should be into work soon enough. I should add that my above outline is to serve as the official account of my trip and all others mere speculation or outright lies.

1 comment:

  1. It's great to have Roger back, but people pleeease don't listen to the Purgatory Picayune's "story". It's untrue and we're seeking legal action against them!

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